Dare to Dream

I'm sitting in Grounds for Thought enjoying my third cup of coffee for the afternoon. I've been here for several hours - thinking, praying, journaling, and of course, reading. I am, after all, a true English major at heart. A cup of coffee and a good book or some time to journal, pray, and read the Word is my idea of an ideal afternoon.

I have thought a lot about my life in the past few days - who I am, where I am, what I am called to do. I realized that I have been limiting myself. I have limited nearly every aspect of my life. I have limited myself by deciding that I need to belong somewhere. I complained that don't belong with my family anymore. I don't have a permanent place of residence. For the past two years, the place I call home has changed every four months. So what? Why do I feel like I need to belong somewhere? I belong to God. He can place me wherever He wants. The fact that I am not tied down to any one place is freeing. I can go wherever He leads me. That was a sweet realization. Then I thought about the other ways that I have been limiting myself. I have limited my gifts, talents, interests, and desires. Music. I limited myself in two ways. One, by only being a classical pianist. I am very talented. Classical piano has been taken away from me. So why don't I explore other aspects of music, such as playing by ear? Or learning guitar? Two, I have limited myself by being prideful. I was so self-condeming because I couldn't play classically anymore. I condemned myself for the mistakes I made while I was a classical pianist. I condemned myself because I am not the best at playing by ear. It was humbling to realize how much pride I had about piano and music. I am now attempting to enjoy the gift that God has given me and explore new avenues of music. And not condemn myself. The focus isn't all about me, especially not in ministry. I have limited myself in other areas of ministry as well. I am not a super girly girl. Nor do I really enjoy hanging out with large groups of girls. So I thought that I would no longer lead women's ministry. Silly me. God challenged me to think of new ways to reach women. I am not the only non girly girl out there. The idea that came to mind was a weekly prayer time for women. A time when women can come and share what is going on in their lives and pray for each other. I can lead that. I love organizing, praying, and being there for people. I would never have thought of this had I continued to limit myself. There are many, many ways that I have limited myself. These are just a few examples.

Realizing that I have limited myself then begged the question, why? Why do I limit myself? The answer is simple. I am not trusting God. I had decided that I knew the best way to live my life and use what He has blessed me with. Now, I dare to dream. Maybe I will pursue writing. Maybe another aspect of music. Maybe counseling and mentoring. Maybe, maybe. . . . I will not let the world and its expectations or my own expectations and plans limit me. I will passionately pursue my Father. He will lead me where He wants me to go. He will show me unique ways and opportunities to use my interests, talents, and desires. After all, He created me that way. I am not totally sure what this looks like for my life yet. All I know is that I am letting go and trusting God.

So here is my challenge to you. Dare to dream.